


That Would Be Enough

by funnygirlthatbelle13



Series: Helpless [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Both of them think their feelings are one sided, Cats, Cuddling, F/M, Pining, Widojest - Freeform, polymorph
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:47:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22644364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funnygirlthatbelle13/pseuds/funnygirlthatbelle13
Summary: After Jester approaches Caleb as a cat for cuddles, she realizes just how much she actually cares about him. But he obviously doesn’t share her feelings, so she enjoys this one moment. Little does she know...Polymorph cuddling and a lot of pining, basically.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre & Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Series: Helpless [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636885
Comments: 43
Kudos: 297





	That Would Be Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy, I am nervous about this one! I haven’t posted any true blue romance since like... 2017? And it was for The Electric Company? But you know what, these two are worth it, so I gave it my best shot. Especially cuz I’ve been miserable since I got my braces on the other day and desperately needed a distraction.

Caleb smiled to himself as he settled in to his covers. It was chilly in the house, and his window showed that snow was gently falling from the night sky of Rosohna. Caduceus had decided to make soup and bread for dinner, and the smell of yeast was starting to make its way through the Xhorhouse. Beauregard, Fjord, and Yasha had decided to use this snow day of sorts as a training day and were currently sparring. Nott had gone to do a bit of shopping before the snow had even started, and he didn’t think she was back yet. Jester had run out immediately and began trying to build a snowman. And with everyone else busy, that gave him the perfect opportunity to wrap himself in a blanket and read the Xhorhasian history book Essek had given him. He was deeply engrossed in a chapter about the formation of Rosohna when he heard a noise from outside his room. 

“Meow?” 

That was odd, given that Frumpkin wasn’t even a cat right now, let alone wandering about. Still, his curiosity was piqued, and he made his way to the door. 

Sitting outside his door was a small, blueish grey, fluffy cat. The cat was staring up at him with twinkling blue eyes that almost looked purple. 

“Hallo, Jester,” he said with a smile, “Did you have a good time outside?” 

She began purring and rubbing on his leg, which he took as a yes. He bent down to pet her and was surprised by how completely she melted at his touch as well as the chill to her fur. 

“You came to the furnace of the group, ja?” he whispered. It was a well-known fact amongst the Nein that Caleb ran warmer than anyone else in the group . Jester began to purr even louder in seeming confirmation. 

Slowly, carefully, he picked up the tiny cat, making sure that she could jump if this wasn’t what she wanted. But much to his surprise, Jester hid her head in his jacket and snuggled up close to him, purring furiously. 

Caleb moved back to his bed and sat down, allowing Jester to take up residence on his lap. He was almost tempted to join her, to take a cocoon and become a big, orange cat that would cuddle up with her and be safe and warm and happy… but no, that was too much joy. He didn’t even deserve to have Jester’s trust, let alone to snuggle up next to her as animal companions. No, this was already far too good for him. 

Still, he absentmindedly ran his fingers through her fur as he resumed his reading. Jester was writhing around on his lap, her paws smacking at his hand. As he tried to focus on his reading, Jester climbed up his arm onto his shoulder. She spun around in a circle and nestled into the folds of his jacket. Caleb turned his head to watch her and smiled. 

A tiny paw came to rest on his cheek. 

He closed the book and placed it on his nightstand. 

“Alright, blueberry, I will give you the attention you want,” he mumbled, picking her up and pressing her against his forehead. 

Jester mewed and wiggled out of his grip, landing on his chest. He let out a soft grunt as she landed before he settled. Little pinpricks entered his chest in a soothing rhythm as Jester began making biscuits on him. It was good. Between the rhythm of her purring and kneading and the softness of his bed, he felt his eyes begin to droop. 

****

When Jester turned back into herself, she had expected Caleb to wake up as she transformed on top of him. But he remained fast asleep, his face more relaxed than she was used to seeing it. She smiled to herself, sitting up to leave. But then she stopped, glancing back at her friend. There was something too good about this moment to let it go. 

No, not just this moment, she realized as memories began to flood her mind. Quiet mumblings of good night. Horses disguised as moorbounders just to ease her mind. Amber lollipops and unicorns. “I am the transmutation wizard, but you’re the one who changes people.” Never, ever doubting her about the Traveler. Fighting to smile for her on one of the scariest days of his life. Sour, lumpy milk spit up in the Evening Nip. Being told she already looked like a princess. Blueberry cupcakes. Polymorphing together to go on adventures. Learning a spell to get her back to her momma. Buying smut just for her. Words of comfort in Darktow over another cup of lumpy milk. The thrill of showing her a new spell. Waltzing together. Awkward apologies about their fight about money. Bear claws piled high with cinnamon. Wide eyes showing surprise whenever they touched. A gentle voice assuring her that she is smart and strong and talented and seen. Warm hands that seemed to fit with hers perfectly… 

Oh.

Oh. 

Oh, shit. 

Was she in love with Caleb? 

No, of course she wasn’t! That was such a stupid thing to think. Caleb was sad and stinky and still in love with Astrid. And yet, she couldn’t stop herself from thinking about the cozy feeling in her chest. That wasn’t the warm room or the joy of being a kitty. That was just what being with Caleb felt like. It was warm and cozy and safe and free from judgement. It wasn’t quite like what her momma or the Traveler felt like, but it was just as good, just as much like home. 

It would be fine if she stayed, right? Caleb would be fine with it. And if he asked, she would pretend that she hadn’t woken up when she’d transformed. It would be fine. She could have this one perfect moment and be satisfied with that. She would never need to act on her feelings, as long as she had this memory to look back on. It would be fine. That would be enough. 

She squeezed into the space between Caleb and the wall, and was pleasantly surprised when he instinctively scooched over to make more room for her. Jester snuggled in close to him, taking a deep breath. For all the jokes about Caleb being stinky, he really didn’t smell bad at all anymore. He smelled like old books and campfire and incense and something musky and Caleb-y that made her heart skip a beat. She rested her head against his shoulder and breathed in deeply, smiling as she inhaled his scent. 

This was good, she thought, this was a good choice. She liked this. 

She closed her eyes, imagining a crazy, impossible future where this was her reality. Where she and Caleb had a little place of their own that was close to the rest of the Nein that they had all for themselves and could cuddle up by the fire with Frumpkin every night. It would never be a reality, but the dream was nice. 

Caleb rolled over in his sleep so that they were face to face. Jester pressed her forehead into his chest, smiling secretly to herself as she fell asleep.

****  
“Mr. Caleb?”

Caleb heard Caduceus’ voice as soon as he woke up. It had been a couple of hours since Jester had come to visit him in cat form.

“Mr. Caleb, dinner’s ready,” Caduceus called.

“Ja, I will be down in… just a minute.” 

He opened his eyes and, much to his surprise, Jester was still with him. 

“O-oh,” he mumbled, staring at her. He certainly hadn’t expected to wake up with anyone in his bed. 

He smiled sadly to himself. This wasn’t an image he had ever allowed himself to picture. No, waking up beside Jester, pressed close together in comfort and serenity, was far too good for him to even have considered imagining for himself. But now that she was here… no, it didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t. She had merely fallen asleep during the spell. There was no way…

He bolted up, pulling his jacket tightly around himself. He felt dirty somehow, as though merely laying by his side could corrupt Jester. Caleb shook his head and allowed himself a moment of composure before standing up.

“Jester,” he whispered, “Jester, wake up.”

She did not stir one bit, and really, he shouldn’t have been surprised. Jester was a very heavy sleeper. 

Tentatively, he reached out and shook her shoulder. 

“Jester, wake up,” he said a little more insistently. 

She rolled over, her eyes opening. 

“Oh, hi, Caleb,” she said with a yawn.

“Caduceus came up to say dinner is ready.” 

He could feel his cheeks turning red as she got up, running fingers through her hair to get it back into place. 

“Let’s go!” she said with a bright smile. Oh, gods, that smile… what he wouldn’t do to bring about that smile. 

“We should, ah, probably not mention this to the others, ja?” he mumbled. 

Jester looked to the floor, her cheeks turning slightly pink. 

“Oh, yeah, probably. Yeah, we should go.”

She began to walk towards the door, and he felt his heart sink into his stomach. He had only made her sad, and that was the last thing that he wanted to do. 

“But, uh, maybe we could be cats together sometime, ja?” he asked, “That might… be fun.” 

Jester turned around, a small, strange smile on her face. 

“Ja, that would be great,” she said before opening the door. 

Caleb sighed and watched her as she went. He knew that he was not a good person, that he could never be worthy of all the things he longed for. But standing by her side, making Jester happy, fighting to make a world that deserved her, occasionally knowing that he is the reason that she is smiling, holding her on rare occasions? 

That would be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope that you enjoyed that! If you did, showing me by leaving a kudos/ comment and/or bookmarking this fic is the best way to make me feel good about myself. And I’m way more likely to write more if I feel good about myself!


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